We all panic when we break up and when your ex has just broken up with you, you are likely to feel hurt, angry and perhaps a little bewildered.
So what can you do? It really depends on whether you want this man or not. If you don't want him in your life, allow yourself to grieve for the relationship and then look forward to having fun being single. Don't waste time trying to get revenge on this man as you will only end up hurting yourself.
But if you really want this man in your life and perhaps feel your behaviour has contributed to the break up, there are a couple of things you can do.
Your first one is to let him know how you feel. Write him a letter, apologising for any bad behaviour and reminding him of the good times you shared together. Don't be afraid to tell him how much he means to you and how much you miss him.
Assuming you get a positive response to your letter, agree to meet him but do so in a public place. This will help prevent your discussions turning into a huge argument. You will need to be prepared to tell your man how you feel. Don't hide your feelings. If you are angry tell him why but try not to turn the meeting into a blame fest.
This will not help you in convincing him that you are good together. Keep the conversation to facts and also use the word I and not you. For example you should say "I feel let down" rather than "you let me down". This is a lot less confrontational and less likely to cause offence or lead to another argument.
Allow him to criticise you as well. It is best if this is done in a constructive way. We all have our faults and some of your less attractive character traits may be, in part, to blame for why he broke up with you.
It is very important that you listen to what he says. Don't assume you know what he is trying to say. Encourage him to say what is on his mind as this is the opportunity for you both to work through any issues in your relationship and come out of this a stronger couple. He may have made the decision to break up, but your behaviour probably contributed to his decision.
Do not play games and don't feel that you have to hold something back in order to make him come back to you. This will only cause feelings of resentment which may lead to you splitting up again. Don't look on a breakup as a negative. All couples go through good and bad patches. It is a normal feature of adult relationships.
Follow these tips and one day as a happy couple, you may actually be thankful that for the day you found out that your ex has just broken up with you.
